I have been on a personal journey reading Attached. by Amir Levine and Rachel S. F. Heller (thank you for the recommendation and sharing your personal thoughts, Marissa Moses), and it has been an eye-opener in understanding myself. I really enjoy reading this book, though it’s taking me a while to get through it. There are three main attachment styles: anxious, avoidant, and secure, as well as a rare fourth attachment style: anxious-avoidant. I have come to realize that I have an anxious attachment style, and I am not at all surprised. Reading about how people with this attachment style may act has created valuable time rooted in self-reflection - I let fear rule how I think, how I act, and how I relate to and maintain relationships with others, romantic or not, and with a different attachment style or not.
Part of the reason I created atta-chm-en-t in the first place was because I knew it would be challenging to depict attachment and detachment with only me; having someone else in the space with me to help relay these feelings and experiences felt very literal and too easy. I also knew this process would require some hard looks inward, and though I avoided looking too far inward the first time around (and by “too far”, I really mean “not at all”), turning the attention to others and their personal experiences, it’s time for me to face myself. It’s a bit scary. It’s a bit exciting.
Right now it feels like my thoughts and research are spanning widely. I’m interested to see how it will distill, or even grow, throughout the next couple of months.
To the wonderful people in my life, thanks for hanging with me despite my anxious attachment style.